Funny Pet Poems

I've written many pet poems in my time, most of them funny, because I really love my pets, and they prefer that I not write mushy poems about them. Honest, they told me! I have to admit to being a dog person, but if it weren't for my allergies, I'm certain I'd also have a cat. Please enjoy and share the poems on this page. For republication or any other commercial use, please see our  terms of use.

Funny Pet Poem #1

The first poem is from my book, Great Lakes Rhythm & Rhyme. The topic is the four season of the Great Lakes region. (I live in Michigan.) But, as you can see, I wrote through the eyes of a dog lover.

A Dog for All Seasons
Some like San Diego
where the weather's always great.
I prefer the seasons
that we have near our Great Lakes.

In winter, when I walk my dog,
it's freezing, but we go.
He sticks his head in snowbanks
and his face lifts up the snow.
When spring is here, the leaves sprout forth.
My dog is such a pain.
He dashes out and tromps into
the puddles in the rain.
The summer's warm and humid
and the suns shines hot and bright.
I take my dog out walking
in the coolness of the night.
When autumn comes, we really like
the brisk October breeze.
We crunch the leaves together
as they float down from the trees.

Some like San Diego,
say it has the perfect weather.
But we prefer four seasons,
that's my dog and I together!

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
Great Lakes Rhythm & Rhyme
All Rights Reserved

Funny Pet Poem #2

I wrote the next funny poem after returning from my first trip overseas to London and Paris. Once we reached Paris, I was very homesick for my dog. That's because every where I looked, Parisians were there with their pooches.

There was even a German Shepard behind the bar at a tavern where we had lunch one day. (I am not making this up! The dog stood on his hind legs, looking over the restaurant like he owned the place.) Of course, the by-product of this Parisian love of everything canine was an abundance of, well, to be discreet, "doodles," all over the place. The fact that "doodle" rhymes with "poodle," which is a distinctively French dog, inspired the next funny pet poem.


French Doodles
If you go to Paris, you must take a scoop
and watch where you step so you won't step in poop.
There are dogs on the sidewalks, the side streets and more;
dogs at the bake shop and grocery store.
There are dogs in the cafes, asleep by the tables,
and happy dogs pictured on grocery labels.
There are dogs in the bookshops, and dogs in the park,
dogs in the daytime, and dogs in the dark;
dogs getting ice cream and eating French bread,
(not like my dog who eats dog food instead.)
So if you go to Paris and like dogs an oodle,
then have a good time, but watch out for the doodle!

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
All Rights Reserved

Funny Pet Poem #3

While we're on the subject of doodles, I have to tell you about Lena. Lena was a black cocker spaniel we were delighted to have as part of our family for over eleven years. She was kind, sweet, gentle, loyal and a joy to have around. She did have one nasty trait; she liked to eat her own doodles! (Yuck.) Lena's been gone for a long time. I wrote this special  poem in her memory.

black cocker spaniel

Self-Cleaning Dog
My dog is member of a species
fond of eating its own feces.
It’s a habit I tried busting
as I find it so disgusting.

I sprinkled cayenne on her doodles.
Trust me, it did not help oodles.
She ate it with a smile and slurp.
(Stay away if this dog burps.)

In a way, my dog can teach.
I’ve learned to keep it from her reach.
Each day I walk her and I snag it,
wrap it up and safely bag it.

Some say I have the perfect pet,
they haven’t seen one better yet.
I ask exactly what they’re meaning.
They say, “Wow, your dog’s self-cleaning.”

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
All Rights Reserved

Funny Pet Poem #4

It has been my privilege to watch several dogs in my life snooze away the afternoon while I toil silently at my desk. This poem was inspired by these canine naps. The dog is the illustration is my current sweetie, Harley. Do you see a certain consistency in my choice of dogs?

black cocker spaniel

Forty Winks
Dogs are cute and cuddly and they’re sometimes dumb or dumber,
but every dog is well-behaved when curled up tight in slumber.
A dog might like to sniff all day and make use of his nose,
but truth to tell, he'll spend more time in restful, sweet repose.
You throw a ball, he catches it, retrieves it in a snap,
but half an hour later he is settled for a nap.
If you cannot find him, please don’t think that it is odd
to catch him resting on the couch, his head about to nod.
If you start to bathe him, as he really kind of stinks,
by nightfall, he’ll be cleaner as he’s catching forty winks.
No matter his activity, whatever he may choose,
it’s safe to bet that he’ll return and take a solid snooze.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
All Rights Reserved

Funny Pet Poem #5

Okay, it's time to pay homage to the feline population. The next funny poem was written to honor those people with homes and hearts big enough to take in strays. Okay, some of them are a little bit wacky, but that's what makes this poem fun. It is on page 54 of my book, A Little Bit of Nonsense.

Aunt Jane's Cats
Cats are lounging on the rug,
soaking sun and feeling smug.
One is on the kitchen chair,
paws of fur up in the air.
One is stalking with disdain
birds outside the window pane.
Five are resting while they scan.
Two are in the litter pan.
One thing -- I am certain that
Aunt Jane always loves a cat.

She takes in every wretch and stray,
cleans and feeds them, so they stay,
eat her food and rest a spell,
give her house a feline smell,
kind of stale and sour, or bitter.
In return, she hears the pitter
pat of tiny padded feet.
Makes her life feel quite complete.
With her cats and telephone
Auntie never feels alone.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers 
A Little Bit of Nonsense
All Rights Reserved

Funny Pet Poem #6

And then there are pets that aren't exactly pets at all. Take the Pet Rock that was popular back in the 70s. Chia pets and "sea monkeys" are still available on the web. The following funny poem from my book,
A Little Bit of Nonsense, was written with this kind of pet in mind.


Odd Pets
They're portly and perky, my passel of pets,
the oddest that you've ever seen.
There's Chi-Chi, who's stylish, and Kidney, the Red.
You've guessed it! Each pet is a bean.

There's Pico, and Pinto, and Saucy, who's baked,
there's Susan, who's black-eyed (she fights),
there's Pedro, the Mexican jumping bean, who,
so oddly, is frightened of heights.

My mother is happy as they make no mess.
They're quiet; she knows how to treat 'em.
She often comes home with a brand new supply
because sooner or later, we eat 'em.

By Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
A Little Bit of Nonsense
All rights reserved.

Here are some links to more funny animal poems:

Funny Animal Poems

Zoo Poems

Wild Animal Poems

If you've enjoyed these pet poems and would like to find more
funny poems on other topics, please return to my home page.

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