Funny Kids Poetry

I write Kids Poetry all the time, just for fun. In fact, I've been writing funny poems since I was a kid. No kidding! Normally, to illustrate my poems, I've either hired an illustrator or taken out my trusty digital camera. This time, I've decided to to it myself. Let me know if you think I should stick to writing. : )

Funny Kids Poetry #1

The first poem is Nettlesome Ned. Please note that I use big words like "nettlesome" when I write kids poetry because I think it's fun for kids to learn new words when they read. It's even easier today to look them up with electronic dictionaries. So please enjoy the BIG WORDS.

The moral of "Nettlesome Ned" is "be careful about giving your bird (or anyone else) an ultimatum." (That is, no threats.) It might come back to bite you in the butt. Or, in this case, drop a load on your backside...

Nettlesome Ned

Nettlesome Ned
0ld Nettlesome Ned
Kept a bird on his head
From the moment he woke every day.
The bird rarely spoke,
Was a reticent bloke
Whether at work or at play.

Said Nettlesome Ned,
To the bird on his head,
“I am growing quite tired of your weight.
As diets abound,
You must drop a pound
Or your new home will be on my plate."

This very thick bird
Surely heard every word,
But it seemed he was very well fed.
So he made not a sound
As he plopped half a pound
On the backside of Nettlesome Ned.

by Denise Rodgers
Art by Denise Rodgers
All Rights Reserved

Funny Kids Poetry #2

The next example  is "My Dog?," which, you will see, is not about a dog at all. So the illustration was a true challenge and I can only hope it hits the mark. (Please note that the dog looks an awful lot like my dog, Harley, as you see him on the Funny Sonnet Poems page.

Dog Bath

My Dog?
My dog has gone fruit loops.
He’s crazy.
He’s daft.
He doesn’t chase squirrels
and he loves to take baths.
He won’t chase his tail
Or go leaving his “mark.”
He won’t play with dogs
when we walk to the park.
He never eats dog food,
likes turkey and bread.
Instead of a dog treat,
eats pretzels instead.
Allergic to peanuts,
allergic to cats.
His head’s rarely bare
as he owns twenty hats.
He’s quite a weird dog,
So unlike any other.

Wait, that’s not our dog!
That’s my pesky kid brother.

by Denise Rodgers
Art by Denise Rodgers
All Rights Reserved

Funny Kids Poetry #3

The next funny poem is A Start, and it's about how I feel about writing. I couldn't think of a likely photograph for this one -- but the drawing sort of captures what I'm "talking" about in the poem, I think.

Letter Stew

A Start
A little bit of rhythm
And a touch of funky rhyme...
You put them all together
And that’s how I spend my time,
Tweaking all the letters
And the spaces ‘tween them too,
Twirling them together
To blend up a tasty stew.
The rhythm’s for my toe tap
The idea for my mind
The image for my inner eye,
That’s like the outer kind.
I add a dash of feeling,
Just enough to touch my heart.
I’m not quite making poetry
But it is at least
A start.

by Denise Rodgers
Art by Denise Rodgers
All Rights Reserved

Funny Kids Poetry #4

Cranky Franky is the final poem on this page. I think that all of us are occasionally a Crank Franky. While a spanking might work, I suspect what Franky really needs is some unprocessed, wholesome food -- and a nap! Note: I'm revisiting this page for updates, and now that I'm a grandmother of probably the cutest and most intelligent children on earth, (I may be biased), I'm totally against spanking.  Despite that, I hope this poem might give you a chuckle.

Cranky Franky

Cranky Franky
Cranky Franky needed rest
Or else he’d never be his best.
He’d thrash about or brood and pout,
Or pick a fight and loudly shout.

Cranky Franky needed lunch.
Without it, he would grouse a bunch.
“If I don’t eat, my head will split!”
He’d get himself into a snit.

Cranky Franky needed space
And distance from another face.
He needed helpful servants handy,
Lots of sweets and sugar candy.

So it goes with Cranky Franky.
(What he needed was a spanky!)

by Denise Rodgers
Art by Denise Rodgers
All Rights Reserved

If you like the poems on this page, you'll LOVE my book! It's perfect for gift giving -- or for yourself... and I promise to personally sign every copy.

short funny poems

I hope you've enjoyed all the poems on this page.
Below is a selection of links to more funny poems:

More Kids Poetry

Twisted Funny Poems

Funny Rhyming Poems

Short Funny Poems

Funny Family Poems

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A Little Bit of Nonsense