Have Fun with Food Poems!

The first of the funny food poems is about breakfast. 

JELLY, JAM, AND BUTTERED TOAST
Jelly, jam, and buttered toast.
I like breakfast food the most.
Bagels, cream cheese, juices -- fresh squeeze,
make me say, pass more here please.

Lunch will often make me mutter.
I'm not fond of peanut butter.
I hate chips that won't go crunch.
Truly, I do not like lunch.

Now dinner is another meal
I'll take or leave, that's how I feel.
There's always veggies I can't stand.
I have to eat them on demand.

If I could choose and have my way.
well, we'd eat breakfast food all day.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
All rights reserved.
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from A Little Bit of Nonsense

Food Poem Number Two

The second poem is also about breakfast and also from A Little Bit of Nonsense. It's called "Moon Eggs," a name my mother coined, as none of us would eat our eggs "sunny-side up."

MOON EGGS
Moon eggs, moon eggs,
Mom makes up the moon eggs,
not sunny-side up,
not boiled in a cup,
not fried over-easy
(which makes me so queasy)
not scrambled and stirred,
or whipped up and whirred,
but sunny-side down,
like a frown on a clown.
The yolk isn't runny
or face up and sunny,
but solid and tasty,
if just a bit pasty.
I'll eat with my spoon
my eggs like the moon.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
All rights reserved.
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from A Little Bit of Nonsense

Food Poem Number Three

The next Food Poem is from my second book, Great Lakes Rhythm & Rhyme. It is about corn. I think of corn as a vegetable, but to many it is a grain, as in corn tortillas or polenta (corn meal). My favorite way to prepare corn is to remove the husk, rinse and boil. Add a little butter and sea salt, and voila! Delish!

AUTUMN CORN
Corn on the stalk is so sturdy to stand.
Corn set in rows neatly cover the land.
Plucked from their stalks and then stacked where they park it,
loaded on trucks and then sent out to market.

Corn perched on shelves in the grocery store,
packed up and stacked up from ceiling to floor.
Pulled off the shelves, neatly placed in a cart.
Off to the checkout and then the fun starts.
Corn boiled in pans till the water runs yellow.
Biting so crunching, its taste sweet, but mellow.

It's been my favorite, since I was born,
salted up, buttered up, early fall corn.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
All rights reserved.
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from Great Lakes Rhythm & Rhyme

Food Poem Number Four

The next Food Poem is about Cold Cereal, not at all my favorite anymore. I've become a fan of hot oatmeal with fresh fruit and plan yogurt. Yum. But this poem is about the history and evolution of boxed cold cereals. It is also from my book, Great Lakes Rhythm & Rhyme.

COLD CEREAL
A long time ago, with a pan and a pot,
our breakfasts were cooked and they always were hot.
The pancakes and grits and the hot buttered toast,
the bacon, the oatmeal, creamed wheat and French toast.

But then cam a thought, which was bold and imperial.
The thought that arrived was the cold breakfast cereal.
The cornflakes and bran flakes and oat-O's and crunchies
made breakfast a time for the crisp and cold munchies.
Just pour on some milk, get a spoon, start to eat.
No cooking at all for a breakfast complete.

The kids loved the change, and the dads liked it, too.
The moms had less work, so they loved it, it's true.
Inventors? The men who had banished the toast?
W.K. Kellogg and C.W. Post.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
All rights reserved.
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from Great Lakes Rhythm & Rhyme

Food Poem Number Five

There is one more poem that isn't exactly a Food Poem, but it's awfully close. It's funny and, to some people, probably disgusting. I wrote it to amuse a man whose job it is to clean people's watchbands and jewelry. He once suggested that there was enough crud on one watchband to make soup. Yiech, I first thought. Then my second thought was, that would make a good poem! So I wrote it and sent it to him. He said he enjoyed it. You can judge it for yourself.

WATCHBAND SOUP
It tastes real good
and here’s the scoop:
There’s nothing quite like watchband soup.
You take some water, boil it up
and pour it in a waiting cup.
Then dip the watchband slowly in
slip up and down,
and slowly spin.

Sometimes, it’s not very pretty
especially when the watchband’s gritty.
So watch and wait until it’s brewed;
it makes a murky liquid food.
Just add a dash of grainy salt
and maybe just a touch of malt.
So long as it won’t gel or goop
enjoy your gourmet watchband soup.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
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Food Poem Number Six

BELLY ACHE
My brother was watching the telly
While moaning and holding his belly.
Just like my cousin
He’d eaten a dozen
Of doughnuts all fresh from the deli.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright ©Denise Rodgers
All rights reserved.
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Food Poem Number Seven

After years of buying all my baked goods, I've learned how to bake from scratch, which is actually a lot of fun. It's like a bit of alchemy. Add a little of this, a little that, stir it together...and out of the oven comes something delicious. That is the inspiration for this poem. Enjoy!

BAKING COOKIES
I pour in some flour
Some eggs,
And I beat them.
Add sugar and salt,
Baking Powder.
Repeat them.
I stir it all up
Drop on sheets
And I heat them.
Remove them,
And cool them.
And lastly,
I eat them!

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright ©Denise Rodgers
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Food Poem Number Eight

This poem was inspired by real-life shenanigans. My dad and his brother raided his sister's wedding candy, back in Poland when he was a little boy. Was he spanked? I think only his brother paid the price, as he was the older of the two, and therefore should have known better. In the poem, the characters are a boy and a girl. But the story is the same.  Here is the text of the poem:

WEDDING CANDY
Benny and his sister, Randi
Ate their sister’s wedding candy.
Every chocolate, all the cake!
They chomped nonstop without a break.
Their mother spanked them on her knees.
Dessert?
The guests ate wedding cheese.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright ©Denise Rodgers
All rights reserved.
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Well, I certainly hope you've enjoyed all these poems about our favorite topic: Food. There is a whole section about Food Poems in my book, A Little Bit of Nonsense, There are also poems about animals, quirky people, and odd ideas.