Funny Rhyming Poems

Slicing Salami was the first of my funny rhyming poems to actually get published in a book. It went into print in 1999 in Jack Prelutsky's 20th Century Children's Poetry Treasury.

Slicing Salami
The strangest, strange stranger I met in my life
was the man who made use of his nose as a knife.
He'd slice up salami, tomatoes and cheese
at the tip of his nose with phenomenal ease.

He'd buy food in bulk at incredible prices
and then use his nose to reduce it to slices.
His wife ran away and I know that he'll miss her.
The woman was frightened that one day he'd kiss her!

Poem by Denise Rodgers
Art by Julie Martin
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
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Funny Rhyming Poem #2

His Look Is Wild  was inspired by a man I saw while out walking my cocker spaniel. I'm not crazy for facial hair one way or the other, but this man took it to the ridiculous.

He had so much hair on his face and head that it would take an excavation crew (or a barber) to see what he really looked like. I rushed home to write this poem.

His Look is Wild
His look is wild.
His name is Fred.
His hair completely hides his head.
Take a peek.
(Show no surprise.)
You cannot even see his eyes.
Oh no, it must be as I feared.
His mouth is covered by his beard.
How does he breathe?
How does he eat?
How does he see to cross the street?
Perhaps he can't see people stare
and cannot find the barber chair.
Until he makes a barber stop
he will remain less man than mop.

Poem by Denise Rodgers
Art by Julie Martin
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
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Funny Rhyming Poem #3

This particular poem was inspired by a disappointing trip to my closet. A moth had feasted on my wool blazer over the summer and I was really ticked!

It's hard to take it out on a moth (who probably wasn't even alive anymore), so I did the next best thing. I wrote a poem.

A Note to the Moth Who Ate My Sweater
I hope that you are feeling better
now that you are full of sweater.
But, frankly, don't you think it's rude
to use my clothes as common food?
I'd rather share my bread and rolls
than deal with sweaters full of holes.
The next time you intend to dine
on sweaters that are clearly mine,
I must insist -- call you to task --
don't take a bite unless you ask.
By now, I think you surely know
the answer is a big, loud,
NO!

Poem by Denise Rodgers
Art by Julie Martin
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
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All the poems on this page are from my book of funny rhyming poems, A Little Bit of Nonsense. But there are many more from this book and in my second book, Great Lakes Rhythm & Rhyme. And, of course, I'm writing new poems all the time. Wouldn't want to create a poetry shortage.

A Little Bit of Nonsense

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