Funny haiku poems are a hybrid. The original intention of this poetry form was to be profound or, at the very least, serious. In a way, that's what helps create the humor in the following poems. They start out sounding thoughtful and esoteric (understood by few), but end with a jolt that, with some luck, you'll find humorous. With this in mind, please enjoy the following poems.
The form of the haiku is simple. It consists of three lines of alternating 5-7-5 syllables. The form is restrictive, but you can have a lot of fun within it, (at least, speaking for myself.)
As the birds fly south
I make reservations to
Go to Florida.
Did I mention that I'm Jewish (and not Japanese)? Did you know that the stereotype of Jews forever feeling guilt is born in reality? This has absolutely nothing to do with the rules of writing haiku, but it is funny. The next poem deals with this serious theme in a not-so-serious way.
Lot's of guilt to share.
What am I doing wrong now?
A Jewish mother.
('Jewish" may be replaced with "Catholic" if pronounced "Cath-lic" to preserve the five-syllable count of line three.)
World is vast and wide.
So much out there to explore.
Right now, let's eat lunch.
Note: It also helps with the humor to sound more Japanese by writing without an article -- "article" being the words "a" or "the."
The following two poems have a similar pattern to the haiku poem directly above.
Only so many
Hours. And so much to get done.
I'd rather take nap.
Expand your mind. Get
To work. Better yet, put your
Feet up. Watch TV.
The next haiku gives some profound advice. It almost sounds like a TV ad.
And your house is a big mess?
Just put on lipstick.
(Works for me. No point in the house AND me both looking like a disaster.)
And speaking of advice . . .
Ask for opinions.
Mull it over. Then you can
Just do what you want.
This poem explores deep thoughts and gives some more advice.
Is everything wrong?
Are you the only one right?
Time to see a shrink.
And speaking of shrinks . . .
How many light bulbs
Does it take to screw a shrink?
Oh, got it backwards.
Well, it looks like nine is the lucky number, unless I think of more and return to update some time in the future. If you've enjoyed these funny poems, and you're hungering for more, take heart, there are many more haiku pages to explore.
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