Funny Pet Poems

Funny dog poems, funny pet poems, French Doodles (a poem about poop) by Denise Rodgers on ClassroomPoems.com.

The funny pet poems on this page are mostly about dogs. I could write about dogs forever (and probably will). The first poem was inspired by a trip to France. Please enjoy!

FRENCH DOODLES
If you go to Paris, you must take a scoop
and watch where you step so you won't step in poop.
There are dogs on the sidewalks, the side streets and more;
dogs at the bake shop and grocery store.
There are dogs in the cafes, asleep by the tables,
and happy dogs pictured on grocery labels.
There are dogs in the bookshops, and dogs in the park,
dogs in the daytime, and dogs in the dark;
dogs getting ice cream and eating French bread,
(not like my dog who eats dog food instead.)
So if you go to Paris and like dogs an oodle,
then have a good time, but watch out for the doodle!

Poem and Art by Denise Rodgers
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
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Funny Pet Poem #2

The second of the funny pet poems is from my book, Great Lakes Rhythm & Rhyme. The topic is the four season of the Great Lakes region. (I live in Michigan.) But, as you can see, I wrote through the eyes of a dog lover.

Funny dog poem, funny pet poem,

A DOG FOR ALL SEASONS
Some like San Diego
where the weather's always great.
I prefer the seasons
that we have near our Great Lakes.

In winter, when I walk my dog,
it's freezing, but we go.
He sticks his head in snowbanks
and his face lifts up the snow.

When spring is here, the leaves sprout forth.
My dog is such a pain.
He dashes out and tromps into
the puddles in the rain.

The summer's warm and humid
and the suns shines hot and bright.
I take my dog out walking
in the coolness of the night.

When autumn comes, we really like
the brisk October breeze.
We crunch the leaves together
as they float down from the trees.

Some like San Diego,
say it has the perfect weather.
But we prefer four seasons,
that's my dog and I together!

Poem and Art by Denise Rodgers
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
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Great Lakes Rhythm & Rhyme

Funny Pet Poem #3

While we're on the subject of doodles, I have to tell you about Lena. Lena was a black cocker spaniel we were delighted to have as part of our family for over eleven years. She was kind, sweet, gentle, loyal and a joy to have around. She did have one nasty trait; she liked to eat her own doodles! (Yuck.) Lena's been gone for a long time. This, the third of the funny pet  poems, was written in her memory.

funny dog poem, funny pet poem, Self-Cleaning Dog poem by Denise Rodgers on ClassroomPoems.com.

SELF-CLEANING DOG
My dog is member of a species
fond of eating its own feces.
It’s a habit I tried busting
as I find it so disgusting.

I sprinkled cayenne on her doodles.
Trust me, it did not help oodles.
She ate it with a smile and slurp.
(Stay away if this dog burps.)

In a way, my dog can teach.
I’ve learned to keep it from her reach.
Each day I walk her and I snag it,
wrap it up and safely bag it.

Some say I have the perfect pet,
they haven’t seen one better yet.
I ask exactly what they’re meaning.
They say, “Wow, your dog’s self-cleaning.”

Poem and Art by Denise Rodgers
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
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Funny Pet Poem #4

It has been my privilege to watch several dogs in my life snooze away the afternoon while I toil silently at my desk. This poem was inspired by these canine naps. 

funny pet poem, funny dog poem, Forty Winks by Denise Rodgers on ClassroomPoems.com.

FORTY WINKS
Dogs are cute and cuddly and
they’re sometimes dumb or dumber,
but every dog is well-behaved
when curled up tight in slumber.
A dog might like to sniff all day
and make use of his nose,
but truth to tell, he'll spend more time
in restful, sweet repose.
You throw a ball, he catches it,
retrieves it in a snap,
but half an hour later
he is settled for a nap.
If you cannot find him,
please don’t think that it is odd
to catch him resting on the couch,
his head about to nod.
If you start to bathe him,
as he really kind of stinks,
by nightfall, he’ll be cleaner
as he’s catching forty winks.
No matter his activity,
whatever he may choose,
it’s safe to bet that he’ll return
and take a solid snooze.

Poem and Art by Denise Rodgers
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
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Funny Pet Poem #5

Okay, it's time to pay homage to the feline population. The next of the funny pet poems was written to honor those people with homes and hearts big enough to take in strays. Okay, some of them are a little bit wacky, but that's what makes this poem fun. It is on page 54 of my book, A Little Bit of Nonsense.

funny cat poem, funny pet poem.

AUNT JANES CATS
Cats are lounging on the rug,
soaking sun and feeling smug.
One is on the kitchen chair,
paws of fur up in the air.
One is stalking with disdain
birds outside the window pane.
Five are resting while they scan.
Two are in the litter pan.
One thing — I am certain that
Aunt Jane always loves a cat.

She takes in every wretch and stray,
cleans and feeds them, so they stay,
eat her food and rest a spell,
give her house a feline smell,
kind of stale and sour, or bitter.
In return, she hears the pitter
pat of tiny padded feet.
Makes her life feel quite complete.
With her cats and telephone
Auntie never feels alone.

Poem by Denise Rodgers
Art by Julie Martin
Copyright© Denise Rodgers 
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A Little Bit of Nonsense
All Rights Reserved

Funny Pet Poem #6

And then there are pets that aren't exactly pets at all. Take the Pet Rock that was popular back in the 70s. Chia pets and "sea monkeys" are still available on the web. The following funny poem from my book,
A Little Bit of Nonsense, was written with this kind of pet in mind.

funny pet poems.

ODD PETS
They're portly and perky, my passel of pets,
the oddest that you've ever seen.
There's Chi-Chi, who's stylish, and Kidney, the Red.
You've guessed it! Each pet is a bean.

There's Pico, and Pinto, and Saucy, who's baked,
there's Susan, who's black-eyed (she fights),
there's Pedro, the Mexican jumping bean, who,
so oddly, is frightened of heights.

My mother is happy as they make no mess.
They're quiet; she knows how to treat 'em.
She often comes home with a brand new supply
because sooner or later, we eat 'em.

Poem and Photograph by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
A Little Bit of Nonsense
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All rights reserved.

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A Little Bit of Nonsense by Denise Rodgers on ClassroomPoems.com.
Classroom Poem News on ClassroomPoems.com. Girl in envelope.

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