Funny Christmas Poems

Funny Christmas Poem #1

The first of the funny Christmas poems is Christmas Snow. I've lived my whole life in Michigan, where we have a very good shot at a white Christmas. This obviously isn't the case everywhere, but it does set a standard of sorts. Please enjoy this first funny poem.

Christmas Snow
There is one thing you have to know;
At Christmas time, it has to snow.
The ground must fill with fluffy white
To soften up the cold, dark night.

It helps out Santa, that white snow,
Reflecting off the moonlight glow.
It makes us feel so snug instead
When we’re inside our soft, warm bed.

Although this image is so true
And makes much sense to me and you,
We have to pause and say, “Ahem –
There’s rarely snow in Bethlehem.”

If this thought sets you aback,
Don’t let it take you off your track.
For when you spy a shining star,
It’s Christmas time right where you are.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers 
All Rights Reserved

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Funny Christmas Poem #2

The second funny poem is Believe, a poem about how we all tend to lose our innocence (and beliefs) too soon. I hope that this poem is eye-opening as well as humorous.

Believe
Unless you’re under
Three years old
Chances are that
You’ve been told

That Santa 
Is a cartoon guy
That doesn’t grab 
The deer and fly.

He doesn’t tour the world
With toys.
That it’s all bunk,
A lot of noise.

This makes me wish
That I was three,
With all my thoughts
And wishes free.

We grow up fast
At such a cost
With all our hopes and wishes
Lost.

So when it’s time for
Christmas Eve
Go back in time and just
Believe.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers 
All Rights Reserved

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Funny Christmas Poem #3

The third of featured poems is December Twenty-Sixth. It is all about the frantic state of December for so many people, women in particular.

December Twenty-Sixth
I didn't start my shopping
Till December twenty-first.
I haven’t baked a cookie yet;
Our tree this year’s the worst.

I’d better buy some Christmas cards
And get them out today.
There’s just no time for Christmas
As my life gets in the way.

The decoration bin is cracked.
The tinsel is all dusty.
My Christmas spirit’s all worn out.
My happiness is rusty.

I do love Christmas every year,
Although my feeling’s mixed.
(I think I’m looking forward to
December twenty-sixth.)

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers 
All Rights Reserved

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Funny Christmas Poem #4

The fourth funny poem is Christmas Day. It is the perfect follow-up to December Twenty-Sixth. But this poem celebrates Christmas Day, when all the work is done, and it's time for a big sigh and a fresh cup of coffee.

Christmas Day
There’s something special in the house.
It happens Christmas Day.
The toys are out,
The coffee’s on.
It’s time for rest
Or play.

All the Christmas running’s done.
The gifts were bought,
The battles won.
The goose was cooked
And eaten up.
The coffee’s hot 
Inside my cup.

The miracle of life appears
To bless our family
Every year.
And so I give my wish to you
To bless your happy family too.
Merry Christmas!

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers 
All Rights Reserved

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Funny Christmas Poem #5

The fifth of the funny Christmas poems is all about political correctness: not one of my favorite topics. The red and green of Christmas seems to have disappeared, along with the easy manner of wishing each other a "Merry Christmas." This is a joyous and beautiful holiday -- that can be shared with people of all faiths. So excuse me please, as this next poem pokes a little fun at political correctness during "the holiday season."

Let me take this opportunity to wish you and yours a Merry Christmas!

Happy Holidays
(formerly known as Merry Christmas)
They used to be
All red and green
But now they’re
White and blue.

The Christmas lights
Like so much else
Have changed their
Point of view.

They’re not about 
The holiday.
They’re all about
The “season.”

But red and green
Or blue and white, 
Well, Christmas
Is the reason!

Merry Christmas!

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers 
All Rights Reserved

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Or check out these other special occasion poems:

Funny Birthday Poems

Funny Anniversary Poems

Funny Valentine Poems